My streaming results was a total nightmare.
I got into 3LY, the third last class, with a combination of Physics-Chemistry and E Hist and pure E Lit.
I appealed, and yet I failed.
I was having nightmares about my streaming when I was in Suzhou,
and after appealing, I had nightmares last night.
I dreamt that my appeal was a success and I managed to get into triple science and e geography.
Of course, that was a dream.
Everything in the real world is the opposite.
I woke up in the middle of the dream, and i had this bad feeling that my appeal was going to fail.
And I was right.
All my dreams are the exact opposite of the real world.
And now I regret.
I did not focus on my studies and instead I read mangas and watch animes.
Then, I did not score well in the EOY, this is what I get in return.
For the very first time in my life,
I really felt guilty for not studying.
My dad works so hard at work to earn money, my mom does everything she can to take care of me, and yet I don't even do well in my exams...
I... I suddenly feel so sad, so guilty that I cannot even let my parents be happy for once.
I didn't even make myself happy in the first place...
When my dad sms-ed me my streaming results, I cried.
And I cried for the second time after I knew that my appeal failed.
I suddenly feel so empty, so useless...
我就有如一个废物，什么都做不了，情绪非常低落。
我是真的第一次感到如此内疚，因为父母含辛茹苦地把我养大，我却没有好好读书。
Damn everything!
I studied so hard for physics yet I didnt manage to even get an A1.
I am so useless.
What's so good about Maths?
I scored 90 in EOY and yet it isn't taken into consideration during streaming.
Seriously, I feel like ending my life.
It is so meaningless for me to live on like this...
I want to become a singer, yet I didnt even manage to even clinch a third place in Talentime.
There is nothing that goes along with me.
I feel so emotional right now.
I want to die. How does it feel like to die? Will dying end my pains?
Yes, it is stupid and foolish, yet I want to give it a try.
Now, I really want a boyfriend.
Someone that I can rely on, someone that I love and also loves me.
When will I find him? Where will I find him?
I'm desperate. Really desperate.
Now I'm lost.

6:11 PM sprinklinq love Y

Welcome to those-smiling-stars.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
-Crystal Middlemas-

初めまして
私はキズコーです
今は十四歳　図画は好きです
でも一寸スラック
よるしくお願いします!
Wei Feng
A.k.a Fiona
24/05/95
CHONGFUCCHMS
Gemini
yeah_love_rox@hotmail.com
l0ve-d

♥Everlastiinq Lollipops
♥SUPER JUNIOR!!!
♥SHINee!!
♥S.H.E!!
♥All TRUE friends
Loves to sing
Loves CO
Loves Florence Twinny
Loves Ivy & YanLing Roommates!
Loves Justoo!
Loves Yong Xin and EN EN!!!
Loves MinYi and Sharon

MYSELF
NOTHING
NOBODY
☺


Become a SINGER
Learn JAPANESE
Learn Korean
New laptop
Better GRADES
More MONEY! $$$