Nothing has ever been going my way.
There's so many things and people that I have to bear with,
and so many obstacles to overcome.
Everything's going wrong. Way wrong.
I've lost my interest and inspiration for the current fanfiction.
My studies have been declining since the start of the year and I'm failing them.
I have to tolerate both of my irritating parents.
It's really REALLY unbearable.
I'm going bonkers. Almost at the point of losing control.
Now, I'm mentally disabled already.
I don't know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and most of all, I don't know why I'm here.
Seriously.
I don't think my existence is important. No no, of course it isn't.
Without me, my classmates would have been happier.
Without me, my parents would also have been happier.
I'm not important at all.
People just yell at me like they don't give me a damn.
They really don't care at all. I'm just such a nuisance.
People like me shouldn't be living on, no.
Sometimes I really feel like giving up.
I've been storing all my feelings in my heart, and it's all overflowing already.
My chest hurts a lot, it seems like it's gonna explode in no time.
Suicide is something I've been considering since a long time ago.
Yes, I am one of the idiots who have gave a thought about suicide.
But you know, I am also a coward, so I didn't dare to give it a try though,
if not, I would already be long gone.
I've lost my goal in life. I don't know why I still keep living on.
Everything seems worthless to me, and life has lost its values.
My life has no values, it's worthless.
If I were dead, nobody would grief over me.
"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream."
I finally understand this song.
There's somebody in the boat that's dying away,
and he realises that life is nothing but just a dream.
Everything is just a dream,
all the emotions, the obstacles, the events ...
All was just a dream, and we're all living in our own dreams.
We belong to nobody, we are just an illusion, nothing more.
I, just like that man in the boat dying away, have finally realised what is life.
It's the overall obstacle that we have to overcome.
But I've alreay given up.
Oh, I really don't know what to do.
I don't have any goals.
I used to have goals, but I couldn't accomplish it.
At first I didn't give up, but gradually, over and over again, I experienced the bitter fruits of failure.
Eventually, I gave up.
I had lost hope in every area, and yes, I don't know where to start from again.
I guess I'm just like an old car, with it's engine a bit run down and needs some repair before it can start its journey again.
I sure hope I'm like that old car.
But now, I still don't know what to do.
Sometimes I wake up with tears glistening on my cheeks, but I couldn't remember what was in my dream. I didn't even know I had one.
You see, I'm all emotionally confused and mixed-up.
I need a real friend, a true friend.
Yet, because I was betrayed 2 years ago, I was scared to entrust my feelings on these new friends. And they gradually drifted apart from me.
I was afraid, afraid of everything, yet not showing a sense of fright in my eyes.
I had hidden everything well, and people thus don't really understand me.
They think I'm the WeiFeng that they know, but actually I'm not.
Gee, I thought I'd have hope. See, I lost hope again.
I really wished something would go my way. Really.

7:26 PM sprinklinq love Y

Welcome to those-smiling-stars.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
-Crystal Middlemas-

初めまして
私はキズコーです
今は十四歳　図画は好きです
でも一寸スラック
よるしくお願いします!
Wei Feng
A.k.a Fiona
24/05/95
CHONGFUCCHMS
Gemini
yeah_love_rox@hotmail.com
l0ve-d

♥Everlastiinq Lollipops
♥SUPER JUNIOR!!!
♥SHINee!!
♥S.H.E!!
♥All TRUE friends
Loves to sing
Loves CO
Loves Florence Twinny
Loves Ivy & YanLing Roommates!
Loves Justoo!
Loves Yong Xin and EN EN!!!
Loves MinYi and Sharon

MYSELF
NOTHING
NOBODY
☺


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