Okay, first of all, i'm having a huge headache.
My biggest dream is to become a singer.
Laugh, go on, laugh at me for having such an unrealistic dream.
BUT, I'm not kidding. Neither am I going to give up. I will try my best for it and do whatever I can to debut as a singer.
But the problem is, how do I get to debut?
How do I sign contracts with companies so that I can become a singer?
That's something I would really want to know.
Of course, go for auditions.
But I'm not aiming to become a singer of Singapore.
I want to go overseas to debut, so how to I get to debut for overseas companies?
I'm being serious here and I am absolutely NOT joking.
And second, my parents totally oppose me into getting into the entertainment career.
I don't get it, why do they oppose it?
I know that there are people who "sell" their body so that they can get famous, but I ain't gonna do that.
I'm so NOT gonna do that, even if singing is my dream, selling my body is a big NO.
Okay, I'm sure I can convince my parents.
Then the problem again is how do I get to audition for overseas companies.
I wanna be a part of SM Entertainment, because the when the groups debut, most of them get famous, and I wanna be like that too, who wouldn't?
And I heard from netizens that they recruit mostly according to looks, like 90% looks and 10% talent.
Okay, I admit that's quite true because some of them can't dance neither sing well but they are popular because of their looks.
But I really REALLY want to become a singer! This has been bothering me for almost 4 years straight!!!
I love singing, it's my passion, and it's my everything, even more important than my life.
So, anyone can give me ideas of how to audition into SM Entertainment?

FYI, SM Entertainment is the company that has a whole lot of famous korean groups, eg. Super Junior, Girls Generation (SNSD), SHINee, TVXQ (DBSK), f(x) etc.

Labels: auditioning to become a singer

11:04 PM sprinklinq love Y

这首歌里真地说出了我的感受。。。

非常喜欢张韶涵的这首新歌 - 白白的

以下是歌词：

空白白的　白得天又混濁變黑
我算是誰　醒了還在原地
喔白白的　靈魂的石灰很容易碎
落入眼裡　想哭卻沒有眼淚

好想把一切都砸個粉碎
只有你才能給我一絲欣慰
你是無形的傷口
你平白的咬一口
再多的愛也不夠
都不夠　不夠　超完美傷口

空白白的　白天又混濁變黑
怕遇到誰　那無用的安慰
喔白白的　赤裸的心灰很容易碎
落入眼裡　想哭卻沒有眼淚

好想把自己也砸個粉碎
都摧毀才能給我一絲欣慰

你是無形的傷口
你平白的咬一口
再多的愛也不夠
都不夠　不夠　超完美傷口
都不夠　卻還有
都不夠　卻還有

空白白的　我的心灰一碰就碎
只有你才能給我一絲欣慰
你是無形的傷口
你平白的咬一口
再多的愛也不夠
都不夠　不夠　超完美傷口

你是無形的傷口
你平白的咬一口
再多的愛也不夠
都不夠　不夠　超完美傷口

12:44 PM sprinklinq love Y

I'm going to blast very soon!!!
Feeling very high right now!!!
AND AND AND I have some videos here to share that are from 终极三国... XD

1:03 PM sprinklinq love Y

There isn't a day where I can be happy when I'm at home.
My mother is just indescribable.
And I can't stand her.
She's so full of emotions that I am at a loss at many times of the day.
And sometimes, it's just over trivial things.
I told her that I want to stop attending my private Erhu lessons from next year onwards, because I want to focus more on my studies.
Yet, she says she wants to leave home.
HELLO?! I am not giving up, because in school I still play the Erhu!
It's not like I have gave up on it and am totally not learning anything right?
Then, she goes blabbering on and on about me wasting money and efforts on the Erhu due to transportation fees, the Erhu lesson fees, and the Erhu.
I know I have used up a lot of money, however, someone wants to buy my Erhu with $1650 which is $150 more than the original price that we had paid.
And, I didn't waste anything because I had already gone for my Erhu Grade 6 exam and I had already passed!
Also, sometimes stopping or giving up something is the start of something new.
I already had no more interests in Erhu but I am still learning it!
It is so painful to do something that you don't want too, and furthermore I'm sort of being forced.
She says that she wants to leave home because I stop learning the Erhu, and to stop her from leaving, I've got to keep attending the Erhu lessons!
I'm being forced!
I cannot stand it anymore! It hurts so much that I'm going to be numb very soon.
We just happen to have different perspective on things.
AND IT HURTS.

2:17 PM sprinklinq love Y

My streaming results was a total nightmare.
I got into 3LY, the third last class, with a combination of Physics-Chemistry and E Hist and pure E Lit.
I appealed, and yet I failed.
I was having nightmares about my streaming when I was in Suzhou,
and after appealing, I had nightmares last night.
I dreamt that my appeal was a success and I managed to get into triple science and e geography.
Of course, that was a dream.
Everything in the real world is the opposite.
I woke up in the middle of the dream, and i had this bad feeling that my appeal was going to fail.
And I was right.
All my dreams are the exact opposite of the real world.
And now I regret.
I did not focus on my studies and instead I read mangas and watch animes.
Then, I did not score well in the EOY, this is what I get in return.
For the very first time in my life,
I really felt guilty for not studying.
My dad works so hard at work to earn money, my mom does everything she can to take care of me, and yet I don't even do well in my exams...
I... I suddenly feel so sad, so guilty that I cannot even let my parents be happy for once.
I didn't even make myself happy in the first place...
When my dad sms-ed me my streaming results, I cried.
And I cried for the second time after I knew that my appeal failed.
I suddenly feel so empty, so useless...
我就有如一个废物，什么都做不了，情绪非常低落。
我是真的第一次感到如此内疚，因为父母含辛茹苦地把我养大，我却没有好好读书。
Damn everything!
I studied so hard for physics yet I didnt manage to even get an A1.
I am so useless.
What's so good about Maths?
I scored 90 in EOY and yet it isn't taken into consideration during streaming.
Seriously, I feel like ending my life.
It is so meaningless for me to live on like this...
I want to become a singer, yet I didnt even manage to even clinch a third place in Talentime.
There is nothing that goes along with me.
I feel so emotional right now.
I want to die. How does it feel like to die? Will dying end my pains?
Yes, it is stupid and foolish, yet I want to give it a try.
Now, I really want a boyfriend.
Someone that I can rely on, someone that I love and also loves me.
When will I find him? Where will I find him?
I'm desperate. Really desperate.
Now I'm lost.

6:11 PM sprinklinq love Y

Here are my targets for EOY:

English - C5
Mathematics - A1 (85 marks)
HCL - A2
Physics - A2
Geography - A2
History - B4
EL Lit - B4
ACC - A2

Seriously, I think that I will die for physics. HA-HA-HA, getting an A2 is impossible...
I don't even know if I'll pass!!! T_T
But I'm hoping for the best, and I hope everything will go well during the exams.
Haven't started mugging yet... -.-''' VERY sure that I'm going to get scores below my targets!
AND, I'm participating in the Suzhou & Shanghai exchange programme! :D:D:D
Well, at first didn't really want to go, but... after my mum scolded me, I decided to go so that during these 10 days and 9 nights abroad, I won't get to hear her scoldings... LOL
Today's Chinese Oral was totally screwed up, 'cuz I was all wrecked-up and I couldn't think straight.
I realise that I always get very VERY nervous during the exams and I tend to forget a lot of stuff that I had revised, and led to me scoring badly.
But... I think that breathing in and out is totally useless. Tried that a lot of times and I was still nervous.

Okays, now proceeding to the subject combination matter.
I'm thinking of getting into the 8 subject bio-chem class...
HOWEVER, due to only having physics for the second semester, and the bio-chem combination based on how good your science is, I think the chance of me getting into this class is around 35%.
Near to impossible.
But I can't manage Physics!!!
My Physics is like hell, because I suck at formulas, and there are so many concepts that I don't understand at all!!!
Eg. Electricity. <- I don't know what the hell it is.
However, I still greatly hope that I will be able to enter the bio-chem class.

8:03 PM sprinklinq love Y

きゃ！！
OH MY GOSH!! I JUST WATCHED HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE TODAY!!
How cool is that?
Yeah, really must thank my aunt and my cousins, who are still willing to invite me out after all the nasty things I've said.
THANK YOU!!! :D
And anyways, I think it was kind of a disappointment.
It wasn't really as nice as I expected, with all the lovey-dovey stuff going on between Lavender, Ron and Hermione, while Harry fell for Ginny.
Well, I particularly don't really like romantic stuff. I prefer action-packed movies.
That's why I loved all the previous Harry Potter movies before they started falling in love, because there was fights between wizards...
But anyways, it was generally nice. Couldn't complain anything after getting a free movie to watch with free popcorn and coke, yeah? hahas.
In my own opinion, I think the previous one, Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix was the best Harry Potter movie so far.
Well, I'm looking forward to the last movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows...
I definitely hope there'll be more fights in it, of course, and it'd be delightful to see Harry kill Voldemort!
But really, there's one thing: Harry ending up with Ginny.
I can't believe it. What's the thing that Harry sees in Ginny?
I think Hermione's WAY better than her, but, oh well, the story ends that way, innit'?

8:35 PM sprinklinq love Y

I had been reading manga and slacking all day long until thursday, went I read a manga that really reminded me of something.
It was a manga with the genre of romance, and I was really happy to have read it.
It was about the forbidden love between a teacher and a student.
Although they had the big age gap of 7 years, I still felt very happy for them.
It was really romantic. The teacher even knelled before the student's parents and beg them to let themselves date.
In the end, the female student married the teacher when she was still attending college.
This ending reminded me of my simple childhood dream, which was....
Marry a man that a love when I'm still in college.
That really simple dream had always been in my mind.
Now, I don't even know what's right and what's wrong.
With my ridiculous results, I would be even worrying about how I can get into JC,
so forget about college.
One of my sweetest dreams has been totally shattered.
Really, my other dreams are to become a singer or maybe an architect or a fashion designer.
Being a singer is impossible, because I already failed to be in the top 3 of the Talentime, and an architect is also impossible as my Maths is totally lousy. And lastly, a fashion designer is really something that i don't really wanna be, so I'll let it pass.
ALL my dreams are shattered.
I... don't know what to do anymore.

9:31 PM sprinklinq love Y

Hello people!
I am back to post!
I'm trying hard to forget about the exam results...
So let's talk about animes and mangas!
So far, I have already finished Kuroshitsuji 「黒執事」The Black Butler.
And, I think that it is really the best anime and manga that I have read thus far.
The whole plot is very interesting, and I guess that the workers planned everything very detailed-ly.
Most of all, the ending is truly very nice.
With Sebastien saving Ciel Phantomhive, and bringing him to his "home" preparing to take his soul, and yet still serving him as his butler.
It is really a fascinating plot, and the perfect ending is just the best.

Here's the plot summary from Wikipedia:
The anime and manga series Kuroshitsuji features an extensive cast of characters created by Yana Toboso. The series takes place in England during the reign of Queen Victoria. The series' storyline follows Sebastian Michaelis, a demonic butler who is obligated to serve Ciel Phantomhive, the twelve-year-old head of the Phantomhive noble family, due to a contract he made with Ciel.
The protagonist of the series Sebastian Michaelis is a demon who serves Ciel Phantomhive, the twelve-year-old head of the Phantomhive household, as a butler due to a contract binding Sebastian to the child's will. Although Sebastian is able to carry out his tasks with ease and perfection, his co-workers, Bard, Finnian, and Maylene, are not as competent, resulting Sebastian having to complete their tasks as well. Sebastian also assists Ciel in solving the problems plaguing England.

Now, here's some pictures of Kuroshitsuji...



That's Sebastien on the left and Ciel Phantomhive on the right. They look so seductive LOL.

9:16 PM sprinklinq love Y

Hello people!
Tomorrow will be the last day of the Mid-Year Examinations! :D
And yeah, one more thing... EnEn and my birthday are nearing!
I'm so excited! (:
My dad also won a free movie ticket!
Ah, yes.
I'm trying to make a conclusion about the anime and manga that I've watched or read.
So far, I've watched and read:
07-Ghost
Bleach
Blood+
D.Grayman
Gakuen Alice
Hayate No Gotoku
Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn
Kuroshitsuji
Princess Princess
Trinity Blood
Vampire Knight & Vampire Knight Guilty
I think I've watched more than that.. these are the more recent ones that I've just watched or read.... (:
僕大好きアニメ！I like anime very much!
LOLS
I love Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn.. I think I'm a bit like No-Good-Tsuna! XD
and also, I love Kuchiki Rukia in Bleach! I sure hope Ichigo and Rukia become a couple!
Sebastien in Kuroshitsuji is damn handsome! <3 DAISUKI!
VK and VKG's endings are lousy... no so good...
Trinity Blood's Abel Nightroad is damn funny, Esther is just nice(:
AND Blood+'s Saya and Hagi! Greatest couple in all the anime that I've watched!
FYI, I cried when watching D.Grayman, Blood+, and cried the most when watching Trinity Blood, at the scene where Abel dies... Cain is really dislikeable.
Hahas, I'm so excited about everything even when the examinations have yet ended.
Yeah, the Sec 2 camp in June is also coming! T.T
I don't want to swim... In fact, I don't know how to swim... LOL
Hope that I will be able to practise my swimming before the camp HAHAS

10:46 PM sprinklinq love Y

Ah, it's a long time since I've felt so happy and satisfied.
I took a whole day of rest today, spending my time on games and animes.
It's really great to do what you like, and it lightens up your mood.
I feel so great now even though its already midnight.
Everything seems better, and I just can't wait to look forward to the day.
I hope everyday in my life will be like that, always carefree, and no need to worry about homework or whatsoever things.
The examinations are ending soon, and I'm trying not to think about my horrifying results.
It will spoil my mood, and I'll get all tensed again.
Whenever I enter the examination hall, my mind blanks out.
Everything that I've studied has been erased from my mind.
That's why I don't do well for mass examinations. It freaks me out.
But, looking on the bright side, after the exams, no matter what the results are, I can finally relax and let my emotions flow through me, and I am looking forward to EnEn, XinYi and my own birthday. I think I'll be celebrating with EnEn... (:
I can't stop smiling when I think of my favourite nieces...
They always cheer me up when I'm down, and they accompany me through the many times that I've felt loneliness and discouragement. They're great, and I love them... :D
I hope times like these never end,
and most of all,
regarding Chinese Orchestra.
XinLin and XinZe will be leaving for Canada soon, and Sze Eng will be graduating from Chung Cheng. Now in the ZhongHu section, all that's left is YuXiang and I.
I hope that XinLin and XinZe will not migrate though...
However, that's almost impossible.
I wish that EVERYONE will come for the June Holidays CO camp, so that it's the last time all of us will be united together as one. And celebrate our victory of Gold With Honours! :P
Examinations are going to be over soon... I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERYDAY AFTER EXAM! ;D

12:27 AM sprinklinq love Y

Today is again another boring day.
And yet, I'm still not in the mood for revising.
I don't know what to do... seems that I'm going to flunk all my papers.
Today is Mathematics! Oh god, in those 1 hour and 15 minutes, I'm going to be sitting there wondering how to solve the questions.
Yeah, one advice to parents (if any are reading)
Don't be like mother, always so strict in everything.
This will result in the child being very defiant and will try to do eveything by not telling the parents, like me.
My mother forbids me to buy drinks, sweets, crisps, and does not allow me to go out.
You see, because the child is stipped from freedom, he/she will try to gain it without letting the parents know.
Buying sweets, drinks, crisps and going out with friends in secret,
because telling the mother will be a pain in the ass.
If I told my mother, she would just reject the plea and lock me at home,
so of course I will have to come up with a small plan to let her think I'm doing something else.
Then, in the end, when the plot is revealed, the parents get it worst than the child (although they punish the child) because they think they are a failure.
Ah-hah, of course they are a failure to fail to understand this point.
Just like my parents. They are a failure.
My mother is over-protective, always trying to keep me at home and I end up going out in secret.
I'm defiant. Because I want freedom, something that I've always wanted but has not achieved.
So, to all parents: Don't be too strict with your child.

11:10 AM sprinklinq love Y

Totally defeated by the exams, and now I'm dead meat.
Seriously, my mind's in a blank when I enter the exam hall.
And to top it off, I lost my ezlink card.
Great, now there's one more thing I have to worry about, geez.
-.- I wonder if it's still on my exam table?
I sure hope that nobody'll take it.
Argh, worrying about the chinese exam! ><
There's so many things to study, especially when I haven't even started!
Oh god, please let it be something easy, I cannot afford to fail or just pass it,
'cuz I'll be totally screwed. Yeah, that's right.
I'll be roasted to ashes by my mother T_T
I TOTALLY HATE SCHOOL AND EXAMINATIONS!!! SPARE ME!!! T.T

3:15 PM sprinklinq love Y

Today was a total disappointment.
Okays, I shall "reveal" my results.
English Component 5 - 20/30 [I improved but it's still not very good]
Maths Common test on C4 to D6 - 26/35 [Damn, I still need half a mark to get A1]
Biology Common test - 28/50 [Totally disappointed. I was expecting to get 32<]
Geography Common test - 8/20 [Absolutely disappointing. This is my third failed test]
As you can see, there are areas I improved on, and areas where I need to work hard...
It's really happy to receive your marks when you get good grades, yeah.
But then, you get down when you know you've done badly for something.
I've been slacking all the while, not wanting to lift a finger on my homework.
AND, worst of all, there's a lot of times where I burnt midnight oil for my tests/exams.
Yeah, I know, I'm just stupid to do that.
I know it's the streaming year, and I'm getting all tensed up, but I really just can't be bothered.
Oh yeah, tomorrow is MYE, Mid Year Examinations!!!
MUG, PEOPLE, MUG MUG MUG!!! LET'S BURN MIDNIGHT OIL AGAIN! :)

Labels: MYE IS HERE---

7:26 PM sprinklinq love Y

Nothing has ever been going my way.
There's so many things and people that I have to bear with,
and so many obstacles to overcome.
Everything's going wrong. Way wrong.
I've lost my interest and inspiration for the current fanfiction.
My studies have been declining since the start of the year and I'm failing them.
I have to tolerate both of my irritating parents.
It's really REALLY unbearable.
I'm going bonkers. Almost at the point of losing control.
Now, I'm mentally disabled already.
I don't know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and most of all, I don't know why I'm here.
Seriously.
I don't think my existence is important. No no, of course it isn't.
Without me, my classmates would have been happier.
Without me, my parents would also have been happier.
I'm not important at all.
People just yell at me like they don't give me a damn.
They really don't care at all. I'm just such a nuisance.
People like me shouldn't be living on, no.
Sometimes I really feel like giving up.
I've been storing all my feelings in my heart, and it's all overflowing already.
My chest hurts a lot, it seems like it's gonna explode in no time.
Suicide is something I've been considering since a long time ago.
Yes, I am one of the idiots who have gave a thought about suicide.
But you know, I am also a coward, so I didn't dare to give it a try though,
if not, I would already be long gone.
I've lost my goal in life. I don't know why I still keep living on.
Everything seems worthless to me, and life has lost its values.
My life has no values, it's worthless.
If I were dead, nobody would grief over me.
"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream."
I finally understand this song.
There's somebody in the boat that's dying away,
and he realises that life is nothing but just a dream.
Everything is just a dream,
all the emotions, the obstacles, the events ...
All was just a dream, and we're all living in our own dreams.
We belong to nobody, we are just an illusion, nothing more.
I, just like that man in the boat dying away, have finally realised what is life.
It's the overall obstacle that we have to overcome.
But I've alreay given up.
Oh, I really don't know what to do.
I don't have any goals.
I used to have goals, but I couldn't accomplish it.
At first I didn't give up, but gradually, over and over again, I experienced the bitter fruits of failure.
Eventually, I gave up.
I had lost hope in every area, and yes, I don't know where to start from again.
I guess I'm just like an old car, with it's engine a bit run down and needs some repair before it can start its journey again.
I sure hope I'm like that old car.
But now, I still don't know what to do.
Sometimes I wake up with tears glistening on my cheeks, but I couldn't remember what was in my dream. I didn't even know I had one.
You see, I'm all emotionally confused and mixed-up.
I need a real friend, a true friend.
Yet, because I was betrayed 2 years ago, I was scared to entrust my feelings on these new friends. And they gradually drifted apart from me.
I was afraid, afraid of everything, yet not showing a sense of fright in my eyes.
I had hidden everything well, and people thus don't really understand me.
They think I'm the WeiFeng that they know, but actually I'm not.
Gee, I thought I'd have hope. See, I lost hope again.
I really wished something would go my way. Really.

7:26 PM sprinklinq love Y

It is a great honour to acknowledge that CCHMSCO'09 has attained the Gold with Honours award during today's SYF competition.
To attain today's results, everybody has been working very hard because of the multiple practices in a week. However, our hard work and efforts have not been wasted.
Thank you to all seniors, who came back to Chung Cheng just to see and help us practise;
Thank you to all teachers, who always stayed back late to look after us students;
Thank you for all participants, who helped CCHSMCO to attain the GwH award;
and,
Thank you to 黄文才老师、张彬老师 and those other teachers that have helped us to improve.
AND AND AND teachers, don't forget the AUSTRALIA TRIP that you've promised us!
张彬老师 too! Don't forget to treat us Mcdonald's!

Ahh. now is finally the time to relax and concentrate on our studies.
Although we have attained Gold with Honours,
it will be even more pressurizing for those who are participating the next SYF in 2011.
Because we have to try to attain Gold with Honours again.

But now, FOCUS ON STUDIES!!!
MYE IS IN EXACTLY 9 DAYS' TIME!! :O
oh. my. god.
mug mug mug!!!

Labels: CCHMSCO GOLD WITH HONOURS

10:06 PM sprinklinq love Y

Hello!
I took Biology test today, and I totally screwed it. Lost around 10 marks.
I think the aim for b4 and above is gone.
And the pizza that Mr Ek promised? Gone too. LOL
But anyway, had CO after the biology test from 9am to 6pm.
not exactly 6. It ended at 6.30pm
Although it was a really long practise,
we had a 1 hour lunch,
and I think it was pretty much fun too.
XinLin is just so funny! Always making us laugh despite the boring practise... (:
And XinZe? I think he's emo-ing from lunch onwards, i don't know why.
YuXiang still as playful as ever,
And Sze Eng also kept laughing at XinLin with me! :D
We're both nuts.

Regarding the biology test, I don't know if I will fail, or not.
60% chance of passing and 40% chance of failing.
Argh, I'm slacking all the time, always reading the notes at the last minute.
I guess I deserve to fail eh? T_T
But, oh, god bless me, please let me pass! I've got to pull up my Science average marks!

Ah, SYF is on Monday.
Pressurized enough yet? - YES
Scared stiff already? - YES
hahas. I really hope we'll achieve Gold with Honours and prove those bad rumours to be false!
And I think no matter what results we achive, I''ll still cry.
If it was Gold, I'll cry because of sadness.
If it was Gold with Honours, I'll cry because of happiness.
Both contrast greatly.
I hope it'll be the 2nd one.
&&& I just LOVE CO!!!

11:03 PM sprinklinq love Y

There's no good news for a long time,
but there's one for me today!
My erhu's snake skin has already rotted and it has a hole.
ZhangBin ask me if I wanted to change the skin or buy a new erhu..
I wanted to buy a new erhu! =D
AND you know what?
I managed to convince my mum to buy me a good erhu...
one that costs between $1000 to $2000+ , not exceeding $3000.
wow. I was in a daze when my mum actually agreed to let me buy a new erhu.
and especially one that is so expensive.
I almost couldn't believe my ears.
OH MY GOD!
I don't know how it happened.
My mum just agreed to let me buy a new erhu!
How fabulous is that?
(: I can't stop smiling now, and my lips are getting tired.
But I'm still smiling! ~~~ :DDDDDD ~~~
ILY! =P

Labels: able to buy new erhu~~

6:02 PM sprinklinq love Y

I freakin angry and freakin frustrated at the same time.
can't seem to cool down.
first, i saw my report card
kay, shld i say?
i only hav 1 a1 - chinese.
i failed science and geog.
the first time i failed geog. wtf lah!
and 2nd,
some freakin mother f-ing asshole came to my class and vandalised my handbk.
plus, that freakin idiot threw my handbk, foolscap and calculator on the floor.
the calculator was totally covered with footprints can?!
aiya, this is no big deal lah, alr used to it.
the worst is my dad lah.
i ACCIDENTALLY dropped my mum's phone onto the ground and he sounded like he'd wanted to have me dead.
hey, i ACCIDENTALLY dropped it, its not like i did it on purpose.
AND HEY, wtf, jus droppin once wont kill right?
and plus, the phone is not like new or what, its like quite a long time liaaos.
so whats with all the ruckus?!
-.- ZZZ woah my head is like gonna go "BOOM!" anytime. >< freakin suay day.

8:38 PM sprinklinq love Y

The raindrops landed on me, and my skin tingled in reaction.
these little raindrops had a chilly yet warm embrace towards me.
I seemed to have cooled down and not so tensed up anymore.
I felt as refreshed as ever, leaving those thoughts of shame and anger behind.
It seems so that I had cleared my mind.
I was grinning gleefully from ear to ear, not noticing how red they'd become.
I had used to think that living on was something that was useless for one who'd already lost his/her goals.
But then, I thought again.
What right does one have to decide on fate, like death?
No one.
Just then I had realised my foolishness.
I have now awakened from those nightmares.
Everything was a joke. Life was the biggest joke one could ever make out of it.
However, living on in pain isn't a pleasure.
Choosing to end one's life is even worst.
Those who had chosen suicide were foolish.
Some were driven to it, while others had chosen it at their own account.
And somehow, I was once one of them, being possessed by these foolishness.
Well, I had thought through it.
Life can be able to go on with determination.
Failure was faced by me for countless times, and I have set my mind on to not give in.
Since I have gone so far, why give up?
No point.
I stared into the gloomy sky once again.
These drops of rain had increased in both volume and amount.
Soon, it was raining buckets.
And then the lightning struck, the thunder arrived shortly after the lightning's descendant.
I made up my mind to believe in myself.
Fate will it be, but there are also other factors that're able to change it.
Advices, hardwork, positive/negative views, etc.
Facing fate it will be, however, I will never give in. NEVER.
I shall work harder, strive for success, and make my way towards victory.
VICTORY IT SHALL BE!!!

8:52 PM sprinklinq love Y

Oh hellos.
Seems like i haven't updated for a long time yeah?
hmm... i think it was 'cuz i lost interest in posting. and common test week was then.
i definitely flunked chem and maths, i think.
but anyways,
i just got beaten up by my mum just now.
for what, you ask?
just because of folding blankets -.-
i estimate that i was pinched twice, slapped 4 times, and caned around 8 to 10 times...
hahas, i can't believe i can remember that.
well, i was asked to fold the blankets,
but i had my own way of folding...
then, she demonstrated, and she wanted me to change to her way of folding blankets, RIGHT AWAY.
isn't that a bit too harsh?
i mean, well, i was trying very hard to change, you know.
but then, its like my mum didn't care.
she wanted me to fold the blankets that way.
but, we all know that time is needed to change, right?
oh well, i guess she was just trying to take the opportunity to cane, slap and pinch me, since she was so pissed off.
i don't know what i did to make her this angry.
and now, i'm not mad at my mum,
however, i'm mad at my dad.
he told my mum to cane me more, while my mum was already caning me.
and hey, i didn't even provoke my dad this morning at all, okay?
== i seriously don't know what's going on these days.
everything seems corrupted.
my whole life is in a huge mess, and the worst thing is,
i don't know how to rearrange it back to its original form.
recently, my mum has changed drastically.
she wasn't like this last time.
i mean, well, she has a very bad temper since i was a kid,
but it's gone from bad to worst now.
and nowadays, my dad always asks my mum to cane or scold me more while my mum is already doing so.
first, i don't understand why he has to do so.
i didn't make him angry. he seems to always have an evil smirk on his face while i was being caned, like he was being possessed or something.
it's so weird, you know?
ah, one more thing,
yesterday lunch was the funniest lunch in my whole life ever (:
thank you, Boee, Jia Jie, Jun Wen, Jayne and Kian Chang.
I guess yesterday was the best day of this year.... =D

11:50 AM sprinklinq love Y

HELLOS PEOPLE!!!
i havent posted for really such a loooooong time yeah.
anyways common test wk is starting and i have just started reading chem notes today... -.-
*_* and i am still watching fated to love you.
ZZZ how stupid can i be yeah?
and luckily today no xiao ke. cancelled it for revision sia. i sacrificed... LOLS
yeah yeah i know its lame... ==
but ya, whatever.
and and in fated to love you,
i find that the xin yi changed into elaine.
that new xinyi is such a jerk.
and its like so draggy, omg.
i prefer iswak and tka. idk why ppl like ftly so much. it has the highest record manx. -.-
aiya, now is not the time to talk about all these crap.
what on earth am i doing?! oh god.
nevermind i shall be guai today and revise chem properly.
hahas. but i want to continue watching ftly lehhhhs.
you guys sure know that i'm not the type that can stop on tv dramas, esp when its episodes are all out.... HAHHAS.
i'm laughing at my own "joke"
kayyys, wadeva manx.
I'm gonna die of headache!! HELP!!!

Labels: common test~ ARGH

2:57 PM sprinklinq love Y

I don't understand, I don't understand!
My mother, she... she restricts me from almost everything!
Restricting me from going out with friends, from using my computer to watch shows, animes and read mangas, and now, when she already promised me that she'd let me watch 爱就宅一起, she immediately changes her words and she scolded me...
I can't do anything about it...
It's as if I would go crazy any minute now...
and then, I logged into Heymath to "act" that I was doin homework so that I could continue using the computer.
Then, I was watching the congruence figure video...
she asked me how did I move the diagram.
I was seriously VERY fed-up with her, and I told her (in a bad way) that I had clicked one of the buttons.
AND THEN she scolded me again.
Okay, first, it was obviously her own fault.
second, what's wrong with me watching idol dramas?
preventing me from watching it on tv will make me to be even more tempted to watch it on the computer.
third, I will be even more rebellious than before.
example, she always restrict me from going out with friends, then I had to sneak out.
second example, restricting me from watching shows and other things on computer made me even more tempted to do so, and I had to lie to her to watch it.

You see? The more restrictions, the more rebellious I get.
Why not be more open-minded, and spare a thought for the me who's always under all these pressure?
I wouldn't be like that if my mother hadn't been so restrictive.
I would like to tell parents that are reading my blog (if there are any) that restricting your children isn't such a good thing.
Sometimes, being more open would be even better.
but, not that free also.
I am all grown up, already turning 14, and I want more freedom.
Let's not talk about allowing me to go out with my friends,
but she doesn't even allow me to watch idol dramas.
that's too harsh, don't you think so?

10:12 PM sprinklinq love Y

Went for Talentime audition today...
I was trembling... not because of the teachers,
but it was because I had about 4 seniors there.
And one of them was the judge -.-
In the end, after CO ended,
I asked him whether I got in a not.
He shook his head. LOL He dont dare to look at me!! HAHAS
anyways, I was so called "disqualified".
AS EXPECTED.
but I was really sad. I still havent gotton over it yet.
It was my dream to become a pop star you know..
and then my first obstacle was the school's talentime..
in the end, I failed here and I couldnt procede on...
but, however how badly I did,
it was a very good experience nevertheless.
I think I have gained experience towards judges now,
and I look forward to participating next year's Talentime audition.
However I hope the number of judges will decrease.
I was very nervous when I was singing. My shoulders and legs were trembling. LOLS.
haiz, anyways, I am trying to stay happy always... trying not to be emo-ing. =DDD

Labels: disqualified from talentime audition

9:32 PM sprinklinq love Y

oh man...
now is already 12.04 am
i am just so pissed...
looks like i'm freaking out AGAIN.
hella hella hella freak!
i think i'm gonna explode anytime now.
everything just seems to go wrong.
everything gets in my way...
nothing goes along my wishes.

1) Ms Lai lost my self-test 3 ws...
went to find her around 1.40pm today in HODs' office.
and she digged all her drawers and tables...
in the namelist, my name was ticked. i had handed it in.
but idk why, she just happened to lose it.
heck. i'm just pissing off.
2) chinese newspaper thingy... i think i only got 5.
and its like shit, okay?!
3) screwed up the maths test today!
i doubt whether i will even pass it.
4) my mum was pissing off with my dad.
oh wth.
i have to listen to them quarrel for like... everyday!?!
5) so many mosquito bites!
its itching like hell!
i can't stand the itch! i keep scratching it, and then it swollens... -.-'''

you see? now u get what i mean?
these 2 years are the worst years that i've ever gone through...

11:58 PM sprinklinq love Y

I am so damn pissed today...
stupid partner of mine being so irritating...
he keeps asking qns during all lessons...
during ACC, he didn't do the qns 'cuz he didn't know there was a column of answers behind for him to choose! ==
he's like so retarded okay?!
anyways, that made me so pissed...
-.- he even asked me for my answers & he thought i was clever... -_-'''
then qing rong passed me his piece of paper to tell me to pass to weiyang...
suddenly yiting shouted for me to quickly pass to her.
i told her i was looking for some certain answers and i was like pissing off,
so i scolded behind her back...
ROAR! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
last year and this year just isn't my year! I have done so many wrong things that i even made myself so pissed!
and yeah, yiting, idc what you say about me yeah.
but all i have to say is sorry.
if you don't accept my apology,
then nothing more can be said, and i can't do anything more than that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyways chem test was such a failure.
i know i'll pass...
and i'm aiming for 19 and above...
but it seems impossible 'cuz i lost around 4 to 5 marks,
and idk what more mistakes i will make.

to think of it, everything makes so SO PISSED and i'm like freaking my head out.
oh hell.
i am running outta luck.
new year is here,
i thought i would regain my luck...
but now, it seems that my luck will never be replenished
and now its running thin.

hmmm... so the analysis is - I'M SO SUAY!

Labels: new year's luck running out

9:54 PM sprinklinq love Y

Hi! I updated on my fanfic! chapter 1 is already up!
anyways...
god bless us that the Geog test will be on wk 6...
pls pls pls! i didnt revise at all! ><
omg...
and ytd i fell down at the back of the classroom...
most of the guys laughed... -.-
kays wadeva, like i giv it a damn.
now there's a bruise on the spot where i fell on.
it so painful!
and when i walk i can feel the pain!
argh! its like... idk! i'm so mixed up now...
and idk why...
i'm so emo nowadays... xDDDD
kkk. cya people!

7:44 PM sprinklinq love Y

Hello!
New blog, new post, new skin, new url, new everything.
hope that this blog of mine is gonna be alive.
i sure hope that it won't be as dead as the one that i deleted.
kayys... hahas... i can't stand the sleepiness anymore, so...
GOOD NIGHT!!! SWEET DREAMS EVERYONE!!! XD

11:37 PM sprinklinq love Y

Welcome to those-smiling-stars.blogspot.com
Love is like a river,
will cut a new path;
whenever it meets an obstacle.
-Crystal Middlemas-

初めまして
私はキズコーです
今は十四歳　図画は好きです
でも一寸スラック
よるしくお願いします!
Wei Feng
A.k.a Fiona
24/05/95
CHONGFUCCHMS
Gemini
yeah_love_rox@hotmail.com
l0ve-d

♥Everlastiinq Lollipops
♥SUPER JUNIOR!!!
♥SHINee!!
♥S.H.E!!
♥All TRUE friends
Loves to sing
Loves CO
Loves Florence Twinny
Loves Ivy & YanLing Roommates!
Loves Justoo!
Loves Yong Xin and EN EN!!!
Loves MinYi and Sharon

MYSELF
NOTHING
NOBODY
☺


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